It’s early on a Sunday morning, and I’m wondering what I’m doing up.
Apart from checking my emails, I keep logging in and out of a couple of websites. Personals websites. I’m trying to see if my profile catches an eye, gets someone’s attention long enough to want to write to me.
I must be lonely. Am I perverse to long for someone… Anyone to love? To hold, and snuggle up against? I know I want to feel a warm body against mine. Someone to touch and feel, to share laughs with, longing stares…
So I get in and out of those sites I’ve subscribed to… hoping someone interesting enough will write me, or say hi, and proceed with connecting.
It’s during moments like this when I wonder about the luck that some people have to be in love with their partners, while I sit here, desperately wanting to connect with another human being – hoping that sparks start flying, that he’ll want my no. next so he can call me to talk over the phone and not just chat online.
As I sit here, I am chatting with Russ. A little teasing and flirting goes some way toward feeling desired… but Russ isn’t thinking about a future… at least not while we’re chatting. He’s trying to figure a way to get me into bed when he transits while on his way to Cambodia…
Maybe it’s time for bed. And a little less thinking…
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